The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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