So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize