When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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