dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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