all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize