she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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