I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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