I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize