This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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