i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize