Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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(317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions. http://tfl.nu/8qmh

Replies (23) Good night (3584) Bad night (598)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.

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(952): You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing. http://tfl.nu/qkg3

Replies (6) Good night (3403) Bad night (539)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

at least i was looking out for everybody

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(403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz

Replies (8) Good night (4447) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.

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(508): just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life. http://tfl.nu/x7zq

Replies (13) Good night (3921) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it

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(202): Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it http://tfl.nu/amxw

Replies (6) Good night (4531) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

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(339): i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall http://tfl.nu/8iwm

Replies (38) Good night (21295) Bad night (1994) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.

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(954): you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid. http://tfl.nu/mqq2

Replies (5) Good night (3710) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

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(403): Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl. http://tfl.nu/u7lt

Replies (22) Good night (4284) Bad night (1335) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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(217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo

Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (1724) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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(250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you. http://tfl.nu/i94o

Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight

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(636): Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/6533

Replies (17) Good night (706) Bad night (4171) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"

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(678): Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1tt6

Replies (4) Good night (1483) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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(304): Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY http://tfl.nu/auio

Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.

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(321): Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed. http://tfl.nu/dayu

Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (180)
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(+81): View more from

I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat

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(+81): I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat http://tfl.nu/lmi0

Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt

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