I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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