You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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