I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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