Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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