Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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