your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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