i permit you to call me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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