I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize