I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize