i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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