Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize