If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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