Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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