We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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