Are we in a gay sports bar?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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