he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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