Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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