dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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