Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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