Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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