Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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