Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize