The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize