We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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