she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize