I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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