tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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