In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i barfeds in our rink
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize