Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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