I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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