I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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