ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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