Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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