i barfeds in our rink
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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