Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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