i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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