okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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