You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize