So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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